So much f@ckery has happened over the week when it comes to women’s bodies…including my own body.
Much has been said about Lululemon founder Chip Wilson’s comment about women’s thighs putting pressure on the materials of their pants, causing them to wear out. Then he release some sort of ridiculous faux-pology statement….see the link below. Needless to say, my thighs won’t be seen in any new Lululemon attire in the future. Hello Brooks, Nike, Champion, Adidas, Oiselle, Moving Comfort and Under Armour! Any of you guys want to send me some examples to test on my thick thighs? I will review them on the blog…and I’m sure Princess Lindsey would be happy to do so as well.
Ironically, this was all going on as I was adventuring out into the scary world of online dating. I was initially going to keep it from you, my fellow bloggy friends, but something happened over the last few days, that is in the same realm as Chip Wilson’s ridiculous comments, so I’m putting it in.
In the world of online dating, one needs to grow a really thick skin. Snap judgements are made based on your pictures, your texts, your punctuation and so much more. The sheer volume of people who are online dating necessitates it as one simply cannot meet everyone who messages them.
Now, I’m not one who is known for a thick skin, but I figured maybe I could make it through anyway–after all, I feel the best I have ever felt about myself in my entire adult life–that has to show for something, right?
On my online profile, there are a few options for body type. Thin. Average. Athletic. A few lbs to lose. BBW. I will be honest…I was sorta stymied about what to put. I currently run about a size 4/6. And since I have taken a week off from the gym, my weight is up to about 158 lbs. I also have thicker thighs (like I mentioned before) and I am pudgy around my middle as all of my extra lbs like hanging out there. According to the BMI, I am over weight. Compared to the average women’s clothing size, which is about a 14, I’m smaller than average. Am I athletic, well, yes, but am I athletic looking? Maybe. It’s a matter of one’s perspective–I definitely don’t look like a fitness model.
I ended up opting for “Average.” I figured that was a fair enough representation. I also used this photo:
Fast forward to last week. Was messaging two different guys, both wanted to text vs email. I said fine. Guy 1 was rather attentive, if not intense with his texting. There were a lot, generally quick replies, witty…even a few flirty ones. Guy 1 had asked to see some other photos of me, where my face wasn’t obscured, like it was in my profile picture. I sent one of my from Disneyland in front of good ol’ Dumbo, pre-race and then I sent my favourite picture of that entire race–my half marathon finish where I give Mickey a High-Five…er…I guess four (the real version, not the copyright proof)?
This gave me some pause. I mean, I knew that the race finish photo wasn’t THE most flattering photo, but he had seen other photos of me looking normal, pretty, dolled up…what is so bad about this race photo?
The day after this happened, Guy 2 asked for my number to text. He asked for more photos. I sent the above ones as, well, to be a bit of a test and one from my friend’s wedding (below):
Guy 2 called said I was “cute, but curvy.” But? But what? Really? Are you using curvy as a euphemism for fat? I got a lot of compliments on this outfit at the wedding and people told me how great I looked and it’s a size 8. I was super fit with my DDD training and my weight was down decently low at this point. Also, do you not like breasts? I guess if you don’t, then well, on your bike then. Didn’t matter anyway as he too, disappeared after his “but” text. And no I didn’t freak out on him like I did in this here blog post. In fact, I was more dumbfounded about the whole thing at first.
What is even funnier is that neither of these guys was all that special in the looks department either–so I’m not sure why they felt free to judge me. Guy 1 looked about 15 years old than he claimed he was. Guy 2 was definitely carrying an extra 60 lbs if not more.
Now, I know these guys clearly aren’t worth my time, nor am I interested in pursuing someone who can’t accept me for me. The rejection wasn’t the part that bugged me. I wasn’t even mad–I was more baffled than anything. Here I am at my healthiest and smallest ever, and my weight is still an issue….well, not even so much my weight, but my body composition is the issue. If you were to go back to 220-plus pound Princess Lisa and tell her that she would have guys reject her for her “dream” body, one that could fit into size four pants, she wouldn’t have believed you. Not even close.
What ended up making me angry was that it turned a much beloved photo (ie the disney race)–a moment that was the culmination of months of hard work and determination and full of pure excitement and joy, and turned it into something ugly. This marked a real noteworthy shift in my brain.
It was then that I vowed to stop dealing with anyone, or companies, who took issue with my body and what it looks like either at this weight, or heavier, or skinnier. So good bye Guys number 1 and 2 and good bye Chip Wilson. Your ideas on what I should look like are no longer needed. There are plenty of other men around who won’t care that I have a tummy and bigger breasts, or that my race photos aren’t the most flattering. There are other sports apparel companies who don’t care that my thighs touch, and some that actually build their items to work with us thigh touchin’ ladies.
I’m finally ending the war with my body and I’m just going to do the things I know that it loves. Exercise, good food, the occasional baked treat and hugs from cherished family and friends. I know I look good because I feel good…and it doesn’t matter if my belly sticks out a bit or my thighs touch.
In summary, I say screw you Lululemon and screw you douchey online dating dudes! Long live healthy, beautiful women everywhere! No matter their size!
~The Cute, but Curvy Princess Lisa…Hah!
P.S. Please do not think I am writing this post as a way to fish for compliments. I truly am not. I just wanted to express my new found excitement and acceptance with the awesomeness of women’s bodies, including my own. 🙂