Ending the War with Women’s Bodies

So much f@ckery has happened over the week when it comes to women’s bodies…including my own body.

Much has been said about Lululemon founder Chip Wilson’s comment about women’s thighs putting pressure on the materials of their pants, causing them to wear out.  Then he release some sort of ridiculous faux-pology statement….see the link below.  Needless to say, my thighs won’t be seen in any new Lululemon attire in the future.  Hello Brooks, Nike, Champion, Adidas, Oiselle, Moving Comfort and Under Armour!  Any of you guys want to send me some examples to test on my thick thighs?  I will review them on the blog…and I’m sure Princess Lindsey would be happy to do so as well.

Ironically, this was all going on as I was adventuring out into the scary world of online dating.  I was initially going to keep it from you,  my fellow bloggy friends, but something happened over the last few days, that is in the same realm as Chip Wilson’s ridiculous comments, so I’m putting it in.

In the world of online dating, one needs to grow a really thick skin.  Snap judgements are made based on your pictures, your texts, your punctuation and so much more.  The sheer volume of people who are online dating necessitates it as one simply cannot meet everyone who messages them.

Now, I’m not one who is known for a thick skin, but I figured maybe I could make it through anyway–after all, I feel the best I have ever felt about myself in my entire adult life–that has to show for something, right?

On my online profile, there are a few options for body type.  Thin. Average. Athletic. A few lbs to lose.  BBW.  I will be honest…I was sorta stymied about what to put.  I currently run about a size 4/6.  And since I have taken a week off from the gym, my weight is up to about 158 lbs.  I also have thicker thighs (like I mentioned before) and I am pudgy around my middle as all of my extra lbs like hanging out there.  According to the BMI, I am over weight.  Compared to the average women’s clothing size, which is about a 14, I’m smaller than average.  Am I athletic, well, yes, but am I athletic looking?  Maybe.  It’s a matter of one’s perspective–I definitely don’t look like a fitness model.

I ended up opting for “Average.”  I figured that was a fair enough representation.  I also used this photo:

IMG_1826[2]Fast forward to last week.  Was messaging two different guys, both wanted to text vs email.  I said fine.  Guy 1 was rather attentive, if not intense with his texting.  There were a lot, generally quick replies, witty…even a few flirty ones. Guy 1 had asked to see some other photos of me, where my face wasn’t obscured, like it was in my profile picture.  I sent one of my from Disneyland in front of good ol’ Dumbo, pre-race and then I sent my favourite picture of that entire race–my half marathon finish where I give Mickey a High-Five…er…I guess four (the real version, not the copyright proof)?

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20130911-224241.jpgGuy 1 then asked when the photo was taken–I told him in September and his silence was deafening.  There were no more texts and he blocked me from seeing his profile on the dating site.

This gave me some pause.  I mean, I knew that the race finish photo wasn’t THE most flattering photo, but he had seen other photos of me looking normal, pretty, dolled up…what is so bad about this race photo?

The day after this happened, Guy 2 asked for my number to text.  He asked for more photos.  I sent the above ones as, well, to be a bit of a test and one from my friend’s wedding (below):

IMG_1903[1]

Guy 2 called said I was “cute, but curvy.”  ButBut what?  Really?  Are you using curvy as a euphemism for fat? I got a lot of compliments on this outfit at the wedding and people told me how great I looked and it’s a size 8.  I was super fit with my DDD training and my weight was down decently low at this point.   Also, do you not like breasts?  I guess if you don’t, then well, on your bike then.  Didn’t matter anyway as he too, disappeared after his “but” text.  And no I didn’t freak out on him like I did in this here blog post.  In fact, I was more dumbfounded about the whole thing at first.

What is even funnier is that neither of these guys was all that special in the looks department either–so I’m not sure why they felt free to judge me.  Guy 1 looked about 15 years old than he claimed he was.  Guy 2 was definitely carrying an extra 60 lbs if not more.

Now, I know these guys clearly aren’t worth my time, nor am I interested in pursuing someone who can’t accept me for me.  The rejection wasn’t the part that bugged me.  I wasn’t even mad–I was more baffled than anything.  Here I am at my healthiest and smallest ever, and my weight is still an issue….well, not even so much my weight, but my body composition is the issue.  If you were to go back to 220-plus pound Princess Lisa and tell her that she would have guys reject her for her “dream” body, one that could fit into size four pants, she wouldn’t have believed you.  Not even close.

What ended up making me angry was that it turned a much beloved photo (ie the disney race)–a moment that was the culmination of months of hard work and determination and full of pure excitement and joy, and turned it into something ugly.  This marked a real noteworthy shift in my brain.

It was then that I vowed to stop dealing with anyone, or companies, who took issue with my body and what it looks like either at this weight, or heavier, or skinnier.  So good bye Guys number 1 and 2 and good bye Chip Wilson.  Your ideas on what I should look like are no longer needed.  There are plenty of other men around who won’t care that I have a tummy and bigger breasts, or that my race photos aren’t the most flattering.  There are other sports apparel companies who don’t care that my thighs touch, and some that actually build their items to work with us thigh touchin’ ladies.

I’m finally ending the war with my body and I’m just going to do the things I know that it loves.  Exercise, good food, the occasional baked treat and hugs from cherished family and friends.  I know I look good because I feel good…and it doesn’t matter if my belly sticks out a bit or my thighs touch.

In summary, I say screw you Lululemon and screw you douchey online dating dudes!  Long live healthy, beautiful women everywhere!  No matter their size!

Much Luv,

~The Cute, but Curvy Princess Lisa…Hah!

P.S. Please do not think I am writing this post as a way to fish for compliments. I truly am not.  I just wanted to express my new found excitement and acceptance with the awesomeness of women’s bodies, including my own. 🙂

 

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28 thoughts on “Ending the War with Women’s Bodies

  1. So much to say here.

    First of all, you look fab and fun in all your photos. And secondly, do not despair cuz these not choice men decided to be so shamelessly shallow.

    I, too, put myself down as “average” and our stats are fairly similar. I could lose a few pounds but at the same time, I’ve also been this weight for a very long time while many of my friends have fluctuated over the years.

    The ongoing battle with my body is not new but I have more good days than bad ones. I get frustrated cuz I like to eat and am lazy to cook. But so it goes. I stay healthy and I love my clothes and I know how to dress to accentuate the good and de-accentuate the bad.

    What those guys did was deeply lame but also keep in mind that who knows what else set those guys off. It’s been so long since I’ve actually made contact with men online but from what I recall…it’s better to take it all in stride. Maybe it was the pics but it could be a lot of other factors you don’t know and luckily…will never know. And honestly, who the hell cares!??!

    Your body is lovely and ‘curvy’…but honestly, you look athletic, healthy and pretty. And this is from someone who has never set eyes on the real live you. I normally think of curvy as Kim Kardashian who is an extreme version. But a lady who has hips and breasts…when is that ever a bad thing?!

    FYI – a friend informed me athletic usually is a body type in the fashion sense in which your hips and waist are similar in size. In which case, I am an athletic build but I would never say I look like an Olympian. Meh.

    Glad you informed me about the lululemon thing too as I was always curious to buy some of their items. Alas…screw them and our lovely thighs

    BTW, don’t be ashamed of online dating. You’re open. And going on the internet is simply another avenue of meeting potential mates. For all the freaks there are out there, there are nice ones. And you really only have to connect with one. 🙂 Good luck.

  2. Oh. My. God. Giiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiirl I totally feel your pain. First of all, THERE AINT NOTHIN WRONG WITH THOSE PICTURES. I’m thoroughly disgusted by society and what they say is healthy and what’s not. You’re absolutely right-there are plenty of people in this world that will absolutely love your curves because that’s what a REAL woman looks like.

    I struggle with that sort of thing all the time. I used to be well over 200 lbs and spent years losing weight. Some people don’t have it easy you know? I can’t eat whatever I want and not feel the consequences like some people. It will always be a struggle. But if a guy ever told me I was too big, I’d laugh at him.

    We’ve created a society where we’re supposed to look a certain way. Its superficial. It’s ridiculous. There’s no evolutionary reason for it anymore. We’re not hunter gatherers. In fact, even if we were, bigger people would mean they could get food easier and be the “better of the two.”

    People can be ridiculous. I know you’re not looking for a pity party, but honestly, you look amazing. Props to you and your strength. It’s inspiring.

    • Thanks so much for your kind words of support. I can definitely related to your weight struggle and the care you have to show in eating. I agree with everything you say, regarding the ridiculousness of people in general, nevermind the unreasonable expectations that people have of womens bodies (and truthfully, how those expectations ruin our views of our bodies, our selves, etc). I hope that, at some point, this will change, so that future generations of women don’t have to deal with this, but unfortunately, I think it is always going to be an issue. Please continue to be the beautiful person you are–both inside and out. 🙂

  3. Thank you for this, Lisa. Chip WIlson’s constant asshattery has made me swear off the brand as well (that and the fact that the quality is utter crap now). I’ll wear the few pieces I have until they need replacing, but I have found better options that don’t fuel the sizism machine. It has infuriated me for months that the company has been so open about how they only stock the sizes that they want to sell – reading between the lines tells me that they don’t want my size 10 body to be the one advertising their clothing to the world. They want the size two bodies to be doing that. Any company that can’t embrace that heavier (and by heavier, I don’t mean fat) women want to look “stylish” while getting their sweat on – that we want to look good so we feel good so we keep going – doesn’t deserve to have us line their bank accounts by paying the ridiculous price tags.

    The way he has been spouting off tells me that he doesn’t have the business foresight enough to realize that if he doesn’t support the size 8/10/12 people now – we won’t be supporting HIM when/if we ever reach those lower sizes.

    As for the idiots on that online dating site…eff them. (Not literally) You look fantastic. You look, heaven forbid, NORMAL. And any guy who is so shallow…well perhaps they’ve been studying at the Chip Wilson School of Body Types. Hopefully the final lesson involves a cliff and a headlong fall…just saying.

    • Ok Cori…the combo of the “Chip Wilson School of Body Types” and the “eff them (not literally), both made me almost spit out my water. Hilarious! Made my night! And well, thank you as well for your kind words of support–they made my night, too.

      I completely agree with you regarding Chip Wilson and the poor business decision he made by saying what he said…and not even giving us a decent fake apology. It sincerely bothers me that I still have so much lulu stuff that I have accumulated over the years so I can’t in good conscious get rid of it as the stuff is still good…but I hate wearing it, knowing I am endorsing it until it eventually wears out. I am actually tempted to try and find a way to rub off that stupid lululemon lotus off my stuff as they have not earned the right to have free marketing literally on my ass. hah!

      It still blows my mind that a company that I remember being so excited about, when I finally lost enough weight to fit into their higher sizes has now completely dismissed me as a customer. I can’t wait to explore other companies that value me as a woman with cellulite, an athlete who’s thighs touch, and someone who is definitely going to let her dollars to the talking.

      If you happen to notice any awesome brands in your eventual switch, drop me a line at lisa@prairieprincessrunners.com as I am very open to suggestions as to what to try! 🙂

    • hahahahahahahahahahah! I love it Nicole. 🙂 I’ve never been great at the whole dating thing (hence my single-ness), but I know that I do not deserve what these dummies are dishing out. And, to be honest, I think that this experience is probably a good thing to experience–as it means when Mr. Right does come knocking on my door, it means I will recognize him and appreciate him 110%.

  4. I know you aren’t looking for compliments but I know that if it happened to me ( silence after photographs) I’d be wondering. So just so that you know, you look great, better than normal, better than average. Whatever it was that they didn’t like, it wasn’t any weirdness about your pictures!

    • Aw! Thanks so much–that is very sweet of you to say. I think that is the worst part of this whole online dating thing–there is not much “skin in the game” so people don’t feel they owe you explanations–they just disappear. Either way, its best that I found out that this is what these guys are like now, rather than later when I would be more invested and perhaps gained a pound. lol.

  5. Wow what an amazing post. I had no idea guys could be that crazy, especially considering how beautiful and strong you look in those pictures! Do you think those guys could have finished that race? Probably not! I don’t know you at all but I wanted to let you know that I’m really proud of the way you handled it (I would have bitched those guys out and called them fat because I can’t stand not having the last word so I’m glad you didn’t do that!) and you should keep on thinking this way! The perfect guy would have seen those race pictures and been amazed by your strength like I was! Also, thanks for sharing the stuff about Lululemon. Now I feel better about not being able to afford their stuff!

    • Thanks so much Kristen! You are very sweet, 🙂 I am rather confident that they wouldn’t have finished the DDD all smile and high five with 2PRs in the heat that weekend. Moving forward, however, I won’t send that particular picture out to guys. It means far too much to me to have it tarnished by judgmental boys.

      As for the not saying anything after, well, it was hard not to respond, but I felt like there wasn’t much point. Nothing I could say or do would change their opinions of my body and I would never want to have to date someone where I would have to live in fear that I gain a pound or ten and then they decide to leave/cheat/who knows what. I wish I could say that this is why these guys are using online dating, but then what does that say about me (and many other normal, lovely people)? 😉 lol.

      As for Chip Wilson and Lululemon, well, I am jealous that you don’t have a lot of their stuff I have gotten a lot of super clearance items over the years and now I hate wearing them as I feel it endorses them, but I have too much and it’s still “good” so I don’t feel lit is appropriate to get rid of. You don’t have the chip Wilson monkey on your bag–which is awesome and I’m totally jealous! 🙂

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